Sometimes I feel the best time to write is now. 12.22 am. Where the only light that fills the room is the computer screen and the only sound is the tapping of my fingers pressing on the computer keys.
It was a nice night. Went to see sex in the city with friends and it was exactly what I thought it would be. Entertaining.
I had this thought as I munched on m&ms , sour patches and compensated the calories but slurping diet coke that weight has always been a struggle.
As a watched the ever-so skinny Sarah Jessica parker and all the beautiful fashion that filled the screen, each shot was filled with color, texturing and satin [not exactly forgiving on the body ] .how my body could not wear what her body did.
It dawned on me that even at high school .. That even at my skinniest, I was never happy.
So if I was never content then, when would I be happy with me?
I have planned boycotting of certain foods, planning of 5.30 workout , diet pills , diet drinks and diet food but nothing lasts or is stronger than the urge to eat .
I’m not sure inspiration is what I’m after. I am constantly inspired by beautiful people and clothing that was not designed for boobs and butt.
So maybe , just maybe… it is not skinny I seek.. But an acceptance from within.
I’ll probably eat more chocolate and bread than I should tomorrow but hey! At least im emotionally growing…
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
nearly 2 but it feels like she is 20
There are so many moments when I melt to mush by the little things Alana does.
When she tilts her head on mine..
Gives me kisses
Asks for hugs.
I love just laying on the couch and watching yabba gabba.
is it just a mom think to look at your kids baby photos while they are sleeping?
Every stage in a childs development is pretty special but lately with her being so interactive and vocal.. I feel like she is no longer a baby. i could just be saying that because i put a bag full of clothes away in storage that no longer fit her. please note i do this every 3 months. she is growing so fast.... i now have this little person who tells me exactly what she wants to eat in the morning, where she wants to go and what she wants to wear [ 99% its ;jeeeeeeans' and a select few jackets]
She has just started saying 3 or 4 word sentences. Not grammatically correct but I get the drift
“Shab shood hameeh lala” Night time everyone sleeping
“Beroon sard shood kohla.” Outside is cold hat. Referring to the hat she should wear outside
she is very so sweet and funny. when im running slow and she has ran past me and waits for me to lock out front door... you hear a screaming 19 month old say "mommmy chop chop"
Last week Alana was sitting in the living room and I left to go shower and when I returned she said excitedly “ momon peydayshood” = moms been found. As if I got lost or something.
When she tilts her head on mine..
Gives me kisses
Asks for hugs.
I love just laying on the couch and watching yabba gabba.
is it just a mom think to look at your kids baby photos while they are sleeping?
Every stage in a childs development is pretty special but lately with her being so interactive and vocal.. I feel like she is no longer a baby. i could just be saying that because i put a bag full of clothes away in storage that no longer fit her. please note i do this every 3 months. she is growing so fast.... i now have this little person who tells me exactly what she wants to eat in the morning, where she wants to go and what she wants to wear [ 99% its ;jeeeeeeans' and a select few jackets]
She has just started saying 3 or 4 word sentences. Not grammatically correct but I get the drift
“Shab shood hameeh lala” Night time everyone sleeping
“Beroon sard shood kohla.” Outside is cold hat. Referring to the hat she should wear outside
she is very so sweet and funny. when im running slow and she has ran past me and waits for me to lock out front door... you hear a screaming 19 month old say "mommmy chop chop"
Last week Alana was sitting in the living room and I left to go shower and when I returned she said excitedly “ momon peydayshood” = moms been found. As if I got lost or something.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Expected arrival time.Landed.Processing.Here.
As I was waiting for Mahan at the airport. I had a mix of feelings and emotions. I was so excited, anxiously wondering what Alana’s reactions would be when she saw mahan, if customs took all the Persian sweets I asked Mahan to buy in la/tehranglas, if mahan picked the chicken dinner meal or the fish on the plane and if Mahan was blessed to sleep on his 13 hour flight considering he was flying without Alana [ unlike I! ) and had a whole seat to himself!
It was busy,i guess you would expect an international airport to be.
i got annoyed at my dad... he asked me if he should buy mahan flowers? seriously who buys a guy flowers... unless your .... obviously then you would... but not when your mahan. nonetheless he still did.so he spent 10 bucks on a single rose. single. rose. even more gay... so i asked him to return it. that single rose purchased 2 minutes earlier is now non refundable but it was happily exhanged for something or equal value. funny that.. they didnt sell anything less than 10 bucks. ended up adding 6 extra bucks to buy a little kiwi bird toy have the size of my hand.
ok enough complaining..... so back to waiting at the airport...
There were wives waiting to be reunited with husbands, sons with mothers, mothers with daughters... some other people with some other people which i couldnt exactly put the connection together but it got me thinking...arrival areas are a happy place. not a rocket science observation i know.... Unlike the departures. Arrivals are exciting, your obviously arriving somewhere new… you have clean clothes in your bags, gifts, large hopes of exploring, learning and taking photos you can later share on facebook/flikr… and best of all….days of vacation time to utilize. Departures on the other hand are depressing, goodbyes, you’re leaving with laundry you have to do when you get home, money you shouldn’t have spent on silly souvenirs and that daunting reminder that you have work to return to.
Besides a cemetery where a loved one is buried or a hospital where your child is born or someone you know or love passes away ...there aren’t many places that you can have deep emotional memories like an airport.
I will never forget the deep pain I felt when I was leaving my mother. I was traveling alone. Mahan had left 3 weeks earlier after we got married in New Zealand and I was flying solo. It started off as such a horrible day in the departure lounge…..
it wasn’t necessarily that I personally couldn’t bear to be parted [ a huge part of me was happy that Mahan and I would be united but it wasn’t about me ] It was the fact that my mother was not ready to see me go and go so far…. After saying goodbye at that last stop, there is a place where they can go and watch you walk to your terminal only for a few minutes. It was a gut wrenching pain because I couldn’t hear or see her crying but in the strangest way I could feel her crying which was so strong I could feel like I was choking with tears.
I worry that my parents have fallen madly and deeply in love with Alana and that I will once again be bringing them pain. Hopefully they will come to the states in 2010.
Oh so back to Mahan.
He arrived safe and sound! He slept, even had a spare seat next to him, my sweets arrived unharmed and Alana was happy and surprised her daddy was in New Zealand :)
Her facial expression read “hey, what are you doing here?” followed with a smile.
I thrilled Mahan’s here and I can’t wait for his 2 week New Zealand adventure to begin.
Tomorrow we head to Wellington for 2 days with my brother
It was busy,i guess you would expect an international airport to be.
i got annoyed at my dad... he asked me if he should buy mahan flowers? seriously who buys a guy flowers... unless your .... obviously then you would... but not when your mahan. nonetheless he still did.so he spent 10 bucks on a single rose. single. rose. even more gay... so i asked him to return it. that single rose purchased 2 minutes earlier is now non refundable but it was happily exhanged for something or equal value. funny that.. they didnt sell anything less than 10 bucks. ended up adding 6 extra bucks to buy a little kiwi bird toy have the size of my hand.
ok enough complaining..... so back to waiting at the airport...
There were wives waiting to be reunited with husbands, sons with mothers, mothers with daughters... some other people with some other people which i couldnt exactly put the connection together but it got me thinking...arrival areas are a happy place. not a rocket science observation i know.... Unlike the departures. Arrivals are exciting, your obviously arriving somewhere new… you have clean clothes in your bags, gifts, large hopes of exploring, learning and taking photos you can later share on facebook/flikr… and best of all….days of vacation time to utilize. Departures on the other hand are depressing, goodbyes, you’re leaving with laundry you have to do when you get home, money you shouldn’t have spent on silly souvenirs and that daunting reminder that you have work to return to.
Besides a cemetery where a loved one is buried or a hospital where your child is born or someone you know or love passes away ...there aren’t many places that you can have deep emotional memories like an airport.
I will never forget the deep pain I felt when I was leaving my mother. I was traveling alone. Mahan had left 3 weeks earlier after we got married in New Zealand and I was flying solo. It started off as such a horrible day in the departure lounge…..
it wasn’t necessarily that I personally couldn’t bear to be parted [ a huge part of me was happy that Mahan and I would be united but it wasn’t about me ] It was the fact that my mother was not ready to see me go and go so far…. After saying goodbye at that last stop, there is a place where they can go and watch you walk to your terminal only for a few minutes. It was a gut wrenching pain because I couldn’t hear or see her crying but in the strangest way I could feel her crying which was so strong I could feel like I was choking with tears.
I worry that my parents have fallen madly and deeply in love with Alana and that I will once again be bringing them pain. Hopefully they will come to the states in 2010.
Oh so back to Mahan.
He arrived safe and sound! He slept, even had a spare seat next to him, my sweets arrived unharmed and Alana was happy and surprised her daddy was in New Zealand :)
Her facial expression read “hey, what are you doing here?” followed with a smile.
I thrilled Mahan’s here and I can’t wait for his 2 week New Zealand adventure to begin.
Tomorrow we head to Wellington for 2 days with my brother
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Let me introduce myself.
because you may not know me as well as you think..
I think I may have ADHD, I can not sit still, I randomly lose my train of thought and im easily distracted.
I will skip meals but i dont skip chocolate or sweets.
I can not tolerate the stubborn, those who only assume their thoughts are superior, better, wiser, smarter than anyone else’s, I do not like racial preference. I do not think a bahai is better than a Jew, Indians are more trust worthy than a Pakistani or that Mexicans are more hospitable that Asians. I have no political favoring; I do not believe one political team benefits by my unwavering devotion than the other. I have no favorite music type, singer or team sport. I have no attachment to a country, city or place. i can like and admire anything.
I am insanely domesticated. I love to cook and bake. easily say its a passion. i dont see cooking as a chore , i see it as therapy. cleaning the cooking mess on the other hand is not so fun.
i love the smell of onions when they hit the pan, the smell of cilantro and dill when you take that first chop, the smell of cookies when they are baking and the feeling i get when i see how much my husband and daughter are enjoying it. i dont need compliments nor do i seek them. one of the things i admire the most about my mom [ who not only i but even mahan thinks is the most amazing cook )is that she never ever asked if her food was good or raved on about it and when you would compliment she would always be humble. maybe my mother doesnt seek compliments because she cant absorb them, i fear i am the same.
I like to make mistakes I can learn from, research my own way and live a life that was only ever meant to be mine. I am easily irritated by orders. Especially those pertain to me and my family. I admire those who suggest but oppose those who insist one thing or only one way over another.
I do not care what Mary does, what Harry eats and where john sleeps at night. I feel no need to compare or compete. I love to shower those I love with all that I have.I will not return cheap with cheap.
I take pleasure in being in no company but my own and yet I also love the labor of having the company of many.
I dislike being late. and when i am... i feel bad.
I will not judge you for actions or if you made a mistake.
I will remind you of yours if you so easily decide to maximize mine.
I do not believe anyone is perfect.
I do not like talking on the phones unless I actually have something to share.I rather see you face-to-face.
I am goofy. forgetful with actions but far from forgetful with words.
I am confident and in some ways im severly weak.I am undeniably independent, I would rather do something myself than have it done for me. I dont like to burden others. I can be quiet; I don’t care to talk about small daily occurrences with anyone besides my husband.That itself is not in character for me and i only do it because it is so his character to ask. I can not think when im surrounded by mess and clutter.
I form addictions easily.
There is something to be said about people that know you the best. Its uncomplicated and simple acceptance of the little things. They seek no false brushing of ego and nothing is about them rather you. It is in this place I feel independent, removed from critics and unwanted opinions. a place that no matter if we having spoken or seen each other in months, the flow of love is unfazed .
I am who I am. Not right or perfect. Not above or below. I have no intention to change or be changed. just accepted.
I think I may have ADHD, I can not sit still, I randomly lose my train of thought and im easily distracted.
I will skip meals but i dont skip chocolate or sweets.
I can not tolerate the stubborn, those who only assume their thoughts are superior, better, wiser, smarter than anyone else’s, I do not like racial preference. I do not think a bahai is better than a Jew, Indians are more trust worthy than a Pakistani or that Mexicans are more hospitable that Asians. I have no political favoring; I do not believe one political team benefits by my unwavering devotion than the other. I have no favorite music type, singer or team sport. I have no attachment to a country, city or place. i can like and admire anything.
I am insanely domesticated. I love to cook and bake. easily say its a passion. i dont see cooking as a chore , i see it as therapy. cleaning the cooking mess on the other hand is not so fun.
i love the smell of onions when they hit the pan, the smell of cilantro and dill when you take that first chop, the smell of cookies when they are baking and the feeling i get when i see how much my husband and daughter are enjoying it. i dont need compliments nor do i seek them. one of the things i admire the most about my mom [ who not only i but even mahan thinks is the most amazing cook )is that she never ever asked if her food was good or raved on about it and when you would compliment she would always be humble. maybe my mother doesnt seek compliments because she cant absorb them, i fear i am the same.
I like to make mistakes I can learn from, research my own way and live a life that was only ever meant to be mine. I am easily irritated by orders. Especially those pertain to me and my family. I admire those who suggest but oppose those who insist one thing or only one way over another.
I do not care what Mary does, what Harry eats and where john sleeps at night. I feel no need to compare or compete. I love to shower those I love with all that I have.I will not return cheap with cheap.
I take pleasure in being in no company but my own and yet I also love the labor of having the company of many.
I dislike being late. and when i am... i feel bad.
I will not judge you for actions or if you made a mistake.
I will remind you of yours if you so easily decide to maximize mine.
I do not believe anyone is perfect.
I do not like talking on the phones unless I actually have something to share.I rather see you face-to-face.
I am goofy. forgetful with actions but far from forgetful with words.
I am confident and in some ways im severly weak.I am undeniably independent, I would rather do something myself than have it done for me. I dont like to burden others. I can be quiet; I don’t care to talk about small daily occurrences with anyone besides my husband.That itself is not in character for me and i only do it because it is so his character to ask. I can not think when im surrounded by mess and clutter.
I form addictions easily.
There is something to be said about people that know you the best. Its uncomplicated and simple acceptance of the little things. They seek no false brushing of ego and nothing is about them rather you. It is in this place I feel independent, removed from critics and unwanted opinions. a place that no matter if we having spoken or seen each other in months, the flow of love is unfazed .
I am who I am. Not right or perfect. Not above or below. I have no intention to change or be changed. just accepted.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
ONE YEAR
sometimes people don't understand when i say how i don't want Alana to grow up.
I just feel like time goes by so fast as it is and before i know it I'll be waving as she jets off to another country and all I'll have is a long distance phone call. I fear being my mother and i cant imagine how she let me go. but she did.
I can only imagine it being the hardest day of my life. letting someone you love more than life itself love someone or thinking else that pulls them away...
May 11th Alana will be one year old. just thinking about it makes me teary.
Tomorrow may 2nd we've having her hello kitty themed party. its pretty pimped out. obviously its more my party than hers. the house is already decorated... i can pretty much see her thinking 'what the hell?' when she wakes up.
She makes me so happy i can bearly believe how lucky and blessed i am that jujeh is healthy and happy. She gives kisses, loves to be chatty in bed, pokes my mouth and eye, she crawls, loves to read or just flip through books...whatever you want to class that as, she loooooves to eat adult food, she's a foodie, she loves babies even though she's still a baby herself and loves to go dah-dah. I think she's very smart. but then again what mother wouldn't say that about their child. maybe we just have a connection.... where we understand each other.
My daughter is soon to be one.My only hope is that she can grow up to get the best of me and mahan. Grow up to be strong, confident, compassionate, creative, nurturing, thoughtful, spiritual and happy.
Alana has made our little family funnier, our life more meaningful, our bills a little more expensive and my hope for the world more positive. when she's awake i find myself holding back from biting on her little chicken thigh, or squeezing her cheeks. Then she's a sleep i just look at her photos from when we was a baby. I awh-and eee... guess its part of being a mom. little obsessive.
one year down. many many happy years to come.
Happy birthday my little jujeh. [ jujeh - is farsi for baby chick. fyi ]
I just feel like time goes by so fast as it is and before i know it I'll be waving as she jets off to another country and all I'll have is a long distance phone call. I fear being my mother and i cant imagine how she let me go. but she did.
I can only imagine it being the hardest day of my life. letting someone you love more than life itself love someone or thinking else that pulls them away...
May 11th Alana will be one year old. just thinking about it makes me teary.
Tomorrow may 2nd we've having her hello kitty themed party. its pretty pimped out. obviously its more my party than hers. the house is already decorated... i can pretty much see her thinking 'what the hell?' when she wakes up.
She makes me so happy i can bearly believe how lucky and blessed i am that jujeh is healthy and happy. She gives kisses, loves to be chatty in bed, pokes my mouth and eye, she crawls, loves to read or just flip through books...whatever you want to class that as, she loooooves to eat adult food, she's a foodie, she loves babies even though she's still a baby herself and loves to go dah-dah. I think she's very smart. but then again what mother wouldn't say that about their child. maybe we just have a connection.... where we understand each other.
My daughter is soon to be one.My only hope is that she can grow up to get the best of me and mahan. Grow up to be strong, confident, compassionate, creative, nurturing, thoughtful, spiritual and happy.
Alana has made our little family funnier, our life more meaningful, our bills a little more expensive and my hope for the world more positive. when she's awake i find myself holding back from biting on her little chicken thigh, or squeezing her cheeks. Then she's a sleep i just look at her photos from when we was a baby. I awh-and eee... guess its part of being a mom. little obsessive.
one year down. many many happy years to come.
Happy birthday my little jujeh. [ jujeh - is farsi for baby chick. fyi ]
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
mamma got herself a new crib
we found our new home in dallas :)i'm very excited about my new kitchen but not looking forward to packing and unpacking. cant the moving fairy do that for me?
visitors welcome :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
TOP THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
in no order. i saw this somewhere and thought id do my own.
1* Be able to make amazing sushi. did you know an authentic sushi chefs are held in high regard in japan and they just learn how to make sushi rice for the first 2 years? something a food show told me.
2* Attend all the important milestones in my childrens lives.
3* Learn how to sew.
4* travel extensivly to greece and through europe
5* Learn to snowboard
6* Bungyjump off somewhere spectacular
7* Paint something im proud of to put in my living room
8* Design my own dream kitchen
9* Train and complete a marathon
10* Go to a celine dion concert
11* Read all the regilious books of the world.
12* master yoga
13* Write a book
14* ponder less
15. eat the worlds best chocolate
16. ice skate in NYC
17. honor my parents
18. be considered thoughtful
19. swim with dolphins
20. learn how to take a compliment
21. be someones mentor
22. sleep under stars
23. accept myself for who i am
24. go fishing and later cook my own catch
25. visit the holy land with my children
26.Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile.
27 . scuba dive
28. sit on an elephant
29. be the boss
30. skydive
1* Be able to make amazing sushi. did you know an authentic sushi chefs are held in high regard in japan and they just learn how to make sushi rice for the first 2 years? something a food show told me.
2* Attend all the important milestones in my childrens lives.
3* Learn how to sew.
4* travel extensivly to greece and through europe
5* Learn to snowboard
6* Bungyjump off somewhere spectacular
7* Paint something im proud of to put in my living room
8* Design my own dream kitchen
9* Train and complete a marathon
10* Go to a celine dion concert
11* Read all the regilious books of the world.
12* master yoga
13* Write a book
14* ponder less
15. eat the worlds best chocolate
16. ice skate in NYC
17. honor my parents
18. be considered thoughtful
19. swim with dolphins
20. learn how to take a compliment
21. be someones mentor
22. sleep under stars
23. accept myself for who i am
24. go fishing and later cook my own catch
25. visit the holy land with my children
26.Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile.
27 . scuba dive
28. sit on an elephant
29. be the boss
30. skydive
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My girls went south and saggy
Am i the only one trying to stuff my breasts back into my bra?
Before i explain.. its actually a two part concern. I want my perky breast friends to understand how it all went SOUTH.
I may look like I should be arrested for overly exposing in public but I just have bad luck on my side. [ The number of times my top has lost its most important button or I thought my fly was a little down because its "kinda" drafty down there... I realise i have a zip size TEAR in the front of my pants.AKA.CROTCH RIP. This is not mere bad luck.. these are reoccurring incidents in my life ] my whole southsaggers have desensitized how I look at breasts. I would like to introduce you to South Los Angeles and South New York. Currently thats the direction my 2 friends hopped on a one-way flight to.
PROBLEM ONE.
Growing up I inherited a very conservative closet. My mom/mum would shop with me and make sure i always bought things a size or 2 larger than what i was. I'm still not sure if she was predicting weight fluctuations or if it was because she wanted to make sure things weren't too 'TANG' [ meaning 'tight' in farsi ]. My breasts came very early in puberty and i think i had the 2nds largest pair in my class [ after Manna Teoh of course ;) ] . I remember wanting smaller paris hilton insect bite looking breasts that would never spill out of any dress and you could wear the low v-neck tops without looking like you're trying to attract attention from males and bathroom gossip from zee ladiessss.
Looking back, i can only NOW appreciate their WONDERFUL, FULL, LIFTED SELVES in their entire C CUP SIZE.
WELCOME MOTHERHOOD . BREASTFEEDING was like a natural disaster you could never prepare for.The sagging is like a land slide and the stetch marks are like a huge sudden earthquake you didnt see coming that left you with land raptures.
Whenever someone tells me they breastfeed/ fed. my reaction is always always the same. I first think... what a troop! then i start to think on a scale of 1-10 how crappy her girls are under that push up bra.
Breastfeeding had 3 pros [ for me that is ]. LONG TERM BENEFITS FOR YOUR CHILD [ MY child better grow up to be a genius and enterally grateful ] THE JOY YOU GET WHEN YOU SEE HOW HAPPY YOUR BABY IS ON YOUR BOOB AND ITS CHEAP.
CONS. PERMANENT DAMAGES. you cant put a price to that.
I WENT FROM C TO D while breastfeeding to a barely there B maybe an decent A.
What im left with cannot even be classed as a boob.
PROBLEM TWO.
I DONT WANT BIG BOOB. I JUST WANT A BRA-FITTABLE BOOBS.
I'm left with a hallow shell with a lot of skin. kinda like a beach ball thats 40% inflated with air. My breasts have eroded and shifted south of the border.
I know I can get a boob job but I'm not done baby-making. I breastfeed one.. damage is done.. why wouldnt i breastfeed my other future milk suckers?
i just want to know two things....
How do i wearing a swimsuit without the 'Double-bubble' effect?
How do i keep my 'friends' in control. They are constantly playing peek-a-boo ?
Monday, February 23, 2009
no more blog emails from me unless.....
I can only email the blog automatically to 15 people and then each time i had to fwd it via my email. Im sorry for those of you who consider this harrassment of precious email checking time ;)
If you want to continue getting blog emails can you please just do the thingy below.
Hopefully it will work :S
xxx
If you want to continue getting blog emails can you please just do the thingy below.
Hopefully it will work :S
xxx
thisiswhyyourfat.com
so i heard about this website
it was meant to be motivation but only ended up making me hungry
Friday, February 20, 2009
Confessions of a guilty food whore
I have to get this off my chest! Im brimming with anguish.
please kick, punch, pinch and do that shaking of the head and simultaneously rolling of your eyes at me... do not make this "o.k". this is as far from ok as Britney is from the disney channel.
this is what i ate today.My Katie Couric exclusive *do not try this at home*
1. HOMEMADE WAFFLE. I USED HEAVY CREAM....
2. HALF OF PINT of ben and jerrys.. ok maybe more than half.
3. turkey, ham and cheese sandwich was my only good deed today
4. half a bag of those dove chocolates with that yummy Carmel center. if you haven't had one.. don't.
5. this is the painful part. BUSHS FRIED CHICKEN, FRIES, ROLL and the diet coke doesn't make it any less agonizing.
6. grande coffee. from grande calorie Starbucks...
im officially sabotaging my weight loss success because my jeans fit and i can finally see the distinction between my neck and chin.
so depressing.If only dreaming of exercise was as good as doing it.
I've attached a photo of your friend.its not a pretty sight so discretion is advised.
a close up photo never lies....except for a photoshop one.
please kick, punch, pinch and do that shaking of the head and simultaneously rolling of your eyes at me... do not make this "o.k". this is as far from ok as Britney is from the disney channel.
this is what i ate today.My Katie Couric exclusive *do not try this at home*
1. HOMEMADE WAFFLE. I USED HEAVY CREAM....
2. HALF OF PINT of ben and jerrys.. ok maybe more than half.
3. turkey, ham and cheese sandwich was my only good deed today
4. half a bag of those dove chocolates with that yummy Carmel center. if you haven't had one.. don't.
5. this is the painful part. BUSHS FRIED CHICKEN, FRIES, ROLL and the diet coke doesn't make it any less agonizing.
6. grande coffee. from grande calorie Starbucks...
im officially sabotaging my weight loss success because my jeans fit and i can finally see the distinction between my neck and chin.
so depressing.If only dreaming of exercise was as good as doing it.
I've attached a photo of your friend.its not a pretty sight so discretion is advised.
a close up photo never lies....except for a photoshop one.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Please help the fate of these 7 friends!
It seems like a movie plot.A corrupt & religious intolerant government puts 7 people in Iran's most notorious jail, a country with an unjust legal system decides the fate of 7 individuals based on pathetic lies that don't even make sense.The clock ticks while the fate of these 7 men & women rests in the hands of the world.Its not a movie. Its real life.
Who will come to their rescue?
Who can take on this country? For years the Iranian government has gotten away with endless atrocities occurring against Baha'i of Iran with egregious human rights violations. For years Baha'i have been denied the basic human rights and little progress for a religion that strives only to promote world peace! Enough is enough!
[below is copying and pasting of things i've been sent ] Please read the commentary by Rainn Wilson
These 7 friends made up the membershaip of an informal committee attending to the needs of the 300,000-strong Baha'i community, the country's largest non-Muslim religious minority.
The "seven friends in Iran", as they were known, were arrested in dawn raids last spring. Since that time, they have been detained without charge in Tehran's notorious Evin prison. No evidence against them has been brought to light, and they have been denied access to their legal counsel, the Nobel peace prize laureate Shirin Ebadi, who has been threatened, intimidated, and vilified in the news media since taking on their case.
Along with four of their colleagues, their lives may now be in danger. This week, it has been reported, will see a case against them sent to the revolutionary court in Tehran. They are accused of "espionage for Israel, insulting religious sanctities and propaganda against the Islamic Republic".
Such spurious allegations against the Baha'is are not new – but they are extremely serious. Even during the years prior to 1979 under the Shah, history has sadly shown that when Iran feels threatened, it inflames deep-rooted prejudice against Baha'is and other religious minorities to mobilise mass support. The Iranian government is well aware that, as articles of faith, Baha'is honour Islam as a divine religion, are obedient to the laws of the land and do not engage in political activity. The presence of their world headquarters in modern-day Israel is an historical consequence of the Persian and Ottoman authorities themselves banishing the faith's founder to the penal colony of Acre, 80 years before the state of Israel was formed.
Sixty years after the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, this case alone belies a contemptuous, continuing abuse by a sovereign government against one of its minorities. While such targeted violations are taking place within the context of pressures over all civil society organisations in Iran – including students, journalists, women's rights activists, lawyers groups, health practitioners, trade unions, and even the British Council last week – those against the Baha'is give rise to particular concern because of the systematic pattern of violations that are so regularly been resuscitated against them.
By Rainn Wilson
Special to CNN
Editor's note: Actor Rainn Wilson plays paper salesman Dwight Schrute in the television comedy "The Office."
Rainn Wilson says fellow members of his Baha'i faith are being persecuted in Iran.
(CNN) -- Why is Rainn Wilson, "Dwight" on "The Office," writing a news commentary for CNN? Good question.
It's a bit strange for me, to say the least; a comic character actor best known for playing weirdos with bad haircuts getting all serious to talk about the persecution of the fellow members of his religious faith.
Dear readers of CNN, I assure you that what I'm writing about is no joking matter or some hoax perpetrated by a paper-sellin', bear-fearin', Battlestar-Galactica obsessed beet farmer.
I am a member of the Baha'i faith. What is that, you ask? Well, long story short, it's an independent world religion that began in the mid-1800s in Iran. Baha'is believe that there is only one God and therefore only one religion.
All of the world's divine teachers (Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Moses, Abraham, Krishna, etc.) bring essentially the same message -- one of unity, love and knowledge of God or the divine.
This constantly updated faith of God, Baha'is believe, has been refreshed for this day and age by our founder, Baha'u'llah. There. Nutshell version.
Now, as I mentioned, this all happened in Iran, and needless to say the Muslim authorities did not like the Baha'is very much, accusing them of heresy and apostasy. Tens of thousands were killed in the early years of the faith, and the persecutions have continued off and on for the past 150 years.
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Why write about all this now? Well, I'm glad you asked. You see there's a 'trial' going on very soon for seven Baha'i national leaders in Iran.
They've been accused of all manner of things including being "spies for Israel," "insulting religious sanctities" and "propaganda against the Islamic Republic."
They've been held for a year in Evin Prison in Tehran without any access to their lawyer (the Nobel Laureate Shirin Ebadi) and with zero evidence of any of these charges.
When a similar thing happened in 1980, the national leadership of the Iranian Baha'i community disappeared. And this was repeated again in 1981.
In fact, since 1979, more than 200 Baha'is have been killed, holy places and cemeteries desecrated, homes burned, civil rights taken away and secret lists compiled of Baha'is (and even Muslims who associate with them) by government agencies.
It's bad right now for all the peace-loving Baha'is in Iran who want only to practice their religion and follow their beliefs. It's especially bad for these seven. Here's a link to their bios. They're teachers, and engineers, and optometrists and social workers just like us.
This thought has become kind of a cliché', but we take our rights for granted here in America. Imagine if a group of people were rounded up and imprisoned and then disappeared not for anything they'd done, but because they wanted to worship differently than the majority.
There is a resolution on the situation of the Baha'is in Iran being sent to Congress. Please ask your representatives to support it. And ask them to speak out about this terrible situation.
Thanks for reading. Now back to bears, paper and beets!
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Rainn Wilson.
An Iranian news agency has reported that the seven members of the “Friends in Iran,” the ad-hoc group that supervised the affairs of the persecuted Baha'i community in that country until their arrest in early 2008, will be put on trial in an Iranian revolutionary court on charges of “espionage for Israel, insulting religious sanctities and propaganda against the Islamic Republic.”*
The trial could begin any day now.
These charges are an attempt on the part of the Iranian government to justify through fabrications its documented and reprehensible intention to bring harm not only to the Iranian Bahá'í leadership, but to the whole of the Iranian Bahá'í community.
We're calling on people around the world of all religions and those of none to keep these leaders in your thoughts, to gather in prayer, and, most of all, to contact your congressional and parliamentary leaders to speak up on behalf of those wrongly imprisoned in Tehran.
In the European Union, find your MEPs by visiting: http://www.europarl.europa.eu/members.do?language=EN
In the United States, a House Resolution 175 is now in the Committee on Foreign Affairs. Contact the committee and urge them to address the resolution quickly by visiting: http://www.internationalrelations.house.gov/contact.asp
In the United States, find your representatives in the U.S. House by visiting: https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml
Find your senators in the U.S. Senate by visiting: http://www.senate.gov/
When you contact your representative, encourage him or her to "co-sponsor
Sunday, February 15, 2009
mommy wars?
When I wasn’t married – I dreamed of being a career climber. Having my own cute apartment with Lana. Traveling with Lana. I never imagined getting married as soon as I did. But when I meet Mahan, I couldn’t live without him... or on the other side of the world.
When I got married.. Things changed. I had my own cute home. I traveled with my best friend and I became “homie” with no interest for career climbing in a town in the middle of no where. I was content and appreciated.
I cooked daily, had endless dinner parties and started a fun venture.
It started off being because i 'wanted to' not because i had to.
I became a confident cook with a successful catering business I drove myself crazy because couldn’t keep up. It went from small cakes and desserts to buffets for 40, lunches for 120. Then I got pregnant. Nauseated by the smell of onion. Then I wasn’t pregnant. Then I got pregnant again. Now I have Alana. I live a very blessed life.
She has added priceless value to our lives and neither I nor Mahan can imagine our lives without her. I don’t want to have regrets about missing out on her childhood. This is my dilemma.a very small dilemma in comparison to the problems of the world. I realize how fast children grow... 9 months of alanas life feels like 2 weeks. it goes so fast.
As much as I love being home... And as much as I appreciate how blessed I am that I can stay home with my child.I'm blessed that im not the money earner and that my child and I dont have the financial burden so many other families have. My heart melts with all the cuddles. I’m overjoyed with every smile and I love being a mom. Yet every nap and every evening… I dream of spending my time doing something. Adult conversation. I dream of routine. I dream of results. I dream of being rewarded for work. I dream of a different work. I want 2 worlds and i'm scared that they can’t co-exist or that i’m not capable of balancing 2 different parts of me gracefully without stressing out. I don’t want to regret missing out on Alana’s early years but I also don’t want to look back at my 20’s and regret not doing something that made me happy.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/Story?id=1648502
When I got married.. Things changed. I had my own cute home. I traveled with my best friend and I became “homie” with no interest for career climbing in a town in the middle of no where. I was content and appreciated.
I cooked daily, had endless dinner parties and started a fun venture.
It started off being because i 'wanted to' not because i had to.
I became a confident cook with a successful catering business I drove myself crazy because couldn’t keep up. It went from small cakes and desserts to buffets for 40, lunches for 120. Then I got pregnant. Nauseated by the smell of onion. Then I wasn’t pregnant. Then I got pregnant again. Now I have Alana. I live a very blessed life.
She has added priceless value to our lives and neither I nor Mahan can imagine our lives without her. I don’t want to have regrets about missing out on her childhood. This is my dilemma.a very small dilemma in comparison to the problems of the world. I realize how fast children grow... 9 months of alanas life feels like 2 weeks. it goes so fast.
As much as I love being home... And as much as I appreciate how blessed I am that I can stay home with my child.I'm blessed that im not the money earner and that my child and I dont have the financial burden so many other families have. My heart melts with all the cuddles. I’m overjoyed with every smile and I love being a mom. Yet every nap and every evening… I dream of spending my time doing something. Adult conversation. I dream of routine. I dream of results. I dream of being rewarded for work. I dream of a different work. I want 2 worlds and i'm scared that they can’t co-exist or that i’m not capable of balancing 2 different parts of me gracefully without stressing out. I don’t want to regret missing out on Alana’s early years but I also don’t want to look back at my 20’s and regret not doing something that made me happy.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/AmericanFamily/Story?id=1648502
Friday, January 16, 2009
suck it up or spell it out ?
ever regretted saying what you think and wish you just zipped those lips up?
i wonder if it was easier all those times you got sensitive, irritated and just let it slide or if it was worth the 4 second feeling of sticking up for yourself?
There are consequences of everything we say or do. Some intentional and some not so much. my mom told me to always not expect anything from anyone.. I guess then you'll always be pleasantly surprised. If you stuck to that idea, it would be hard to be hurt and disappointed by others.
I found this online and thought it summed it up pretty well..
First, ask yourself if the problem is worth arguing about. Most of the time, people argue over little things that don’t really matter. Once you realize how silly the argument is, it is usually fairly easy to say, “Hey, this is silly. It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Then, you call a truce, compromise, and forget about it.
What was that word – compromise? Yep, if each of you gives in a little, you should both be reasonably happy. But, if one or both of you stubbornly stands firm, you just might damage your relationship.
The truth is, friends or couples argue because they care about each other. They care about each other’s ideas, opinions, and desires. So, when they disagree, they are likely to try to change the other’s mind because they really want to agree with each other, and it hurts when they don’t agree. Unfortunately, it also hurts when they argue, so they really need to follow the advice given above.
So after reading that... kinda makes you wish you sucked it up.
“I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.”
James Rhinehart
i wonder if it was easier all those times you got sensitive, irritated and just let it slide or if it was worth the 4 second feeling of sticking up for yourself?
There are consequences of everything we say or do. Some intentional and some not so much. my mom told me to always not expect anything from anyone.. I guess then you'll always be pleasantly surprised. If you stuck to that idea, it would be hard to be hurt and disappointed by others.
I found this online and thought it summed it up pretty well..
First, ask yourself if the problem is worth arguing about. Most of the time, people argue over little things that don’t really matter. Once you realize how silly the argument is, it is usually fairly easy to say, “Hey, this is silly. It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Then, you call a truce, compromise, and forget about it.
What was that word – compromise? Yep, if each of you gives in a little, you should both be reasonably happy. But, if one or both of you stubbornly stands firm, you just might damage your relationship.
The truth is, friends or couples argue because they care about each other. They care about each other’s ideas, opinions, and desires. So, when they disagree, they are likely to try to change the other’s mind because they really want to agree with each other, and it hurts when they don’t agree. Unfortunately, it also hurts when they argue, so they really need to follow the advice given above.
So after reading that... kinda makes you wish you sucked it up.
“I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.”
James Rhinehart
Thursday, January 8, 2009
2009
It will probably be 2010 by the time i get use to writing 2009 on my checks but here goes....
This years resolution is to cook healthier... more steaming, baking, fish....
less chicken parm, mac'n'cheese,enchiladas.... all the warm cozy make your soul sing & thighs expand. The truth is that all the foods i make arent considered 'light' unless you only eat a teaspoon so I need to change our food habits. If only i could bake less.. mahan's dessert requests are causing that 'pregnancy look' to never go away!
my second resolution is to make time for me. Im not going to let myself go because getting myself back is twice as hard! I need to make time for bubble baths, time to pluck, wax ,get a massage, sleep... READ a book that isnt a book about making homemade baby food or raising a bright child in todays society.
As much as i wish i could take alana on our vacations i hate to admit that deep down mahans insistance that we just be alone does me good. I miss her like crazy but the rest allows me to come back as a better more refreshed mom.
Alana is down for a nap. coffee machine is beeping and im outtaaaaa here :)
so long my friends!
This years resolution is to cook healthier... more steaming, baking, fish....
less chicken parm, mac'n'cheese,enchiladas.... all the warm cozy make your soul sing & thighs expand. The truth is that all the foods i make arent considered 'light' unless you only eat a teaspoon so I need to change our food habits. If only i could bake less.. mahan's dessert requests are causing that 'pregnancy look' to never go away!
my second resolution is to make time for me. Im not going to let myself go because getting myself back is twice as hard! I need to make time for bubble baths, time to pluck, wax ,get a massage, sleep... READ a book that isnt a book about making homemade baby food or raising a bright child in todays society.
As much as i wish i could take alana on our vacations i hate to admit that deep down mahans insistance that we just be alone does me good. I miss her like crazy but the rest allows me to come back as a better more refreshed mom.
Alana is down for a nap. coffee machine is beeping and im outtaaaaa here :)
so long my friends!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
its just 24 hours right? :(
so I've been married for a little over 3 and a half years now.
some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels like ive known mahan all my life.When we first got married i had no idea how much he would be on call and i would be home alone for 24 hours. I thought i had said Au revoir to being home alone. I am a proud chicken that hides behind a confidant unbreakable shell when in all reality i'm a big softy scared to be seen as weak. When it was just the two of us, i would always go and stay with him in the hospital. They provide these little suites with a single bed, bathroom computer and tv.He wouldn't even have a chance to sleep some nights but just knowing i wasnt completely alone was comforting [ once you get over the cheap hospital sheets and hospital smell ]. when I stayed home.. I would get so scared i would stay up till 8 am or pass out at 5 from complete exhaustion. I started baking a cheesecake at 3 am, had a movie marathon, drove to walmart at 4 am.. and spent an hour or so roaming the aisles for something i may need but dont exactly know i need misson. I was so sleepy i could burn myself taking the damn cheesecake out, spill red nail polish on our white couch, knit, scrapbook, dust, clean... you name it i did. ALL just to pass time so he would come home! You see, he is partially to blame... the number of Americas most wanted shows mahan has made me watch and made me terrified!
I was so glad when residency was over with... hoping the calls would be less or non existent. Tonight.. after a VERY long time he is on call. I was starting to forget what the words 'on call' actually meant. With Alana in bed hours ago...I've done all our laundry, watched all my shows, did some reading and looked at every single new photo that was added this weekend on facebook.
i still have 7 hours to go :(
some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels like ive known mahan all my life.When we first got married i had no idea how much he would be on call and i would be home alone for 24 hours. I thought i had said Au revoir to being home alone. I am a proud chicken that hides behind a confidant unbreakable shell when in all reality i'm a big softy scared to be seen as weak. When it was just the two of us, i would always go and stay with him in the hospital. They provide these little suites with a single bed, bathroom computer and tv.He wouldn't even have a chance to sleep some nights but just knowing i wasnt completely alone was comforting [ once you get over the cheap hospital sheets and hospital smell ]. when I stayed home.. I would get so scared i would stay up till 8 am or pass out at 5 from complete exhaustion. I started baking a cheesecake at 3 am, had a movie marathon, drove to walmart at 4 am.. and spent an hour or so roaming the aisles for something i may need but dont exactly know i need misson. I was so sleepy i could burn myself taking the damn cheesecake out, spill red nail polish on our white couch, knit, scrapbook, dust, clean... you name it i did. ALL just to pass time so he would come home! You see, he is partially to blame... the number of Americas most wanted shows mahan has made me watch and made me terrified!
I was so glad when residency was over with... hoping the calls would be less or non existent. Tonight.. after a VERY long time he is on call. I was starting to forget what the words 'on call' actually meant. With Alana in bed hours ago...I've done all our laundry, watched all my shows, did some reading and looked at every single new photo that was added this weekend on facebook.
i still have 7 hours to go :(
Friday, January 2, 2009
Things you may not know about me
1. I am a germ freak, i get so nervous when i hear people coughing especially when they don't cover their mouths. I disinfect everything and carry sanitizing spray and lotion with me at all times. From this i suffer from ridiculously dry hands.
2. I would rather have a shopping spree at the grocery store than a clothing store. I enjoy every part of cooking.. buying beautiful produce is more exciting to me.
3. I blast on the music and dance when no ones home
4. Health ...Tomatoes give me leg cramps, i have really poor eye sight and I'm a A+ BLOOD TYPE
5.I've never broken a single bone in my body, i enjoy watching the needle go in when i get injections and I have weak wrists
6. I rather write to you or drive to you over calling you on the phone.
7. I'm not an only child but i always felt like one. My brothers were + 16 years older
8. My favorite time is right before i sleep when mahan and I talk
9.
Im thinking of trading in my agreement with mahan about my 5 year anniversary ring to get one of these. With their price tag... you'll understand why.
10. my only fear is are not be around to protect and guide alana from all the worlds evils.
2. I would rather have a shopping spree at the grocery store than a clothing store. I enjoy every part of cooking.. buying beautiful produce is more exciting to me.
3. I blast on the music and dance when no ones home
4. Health ...Tomatoes give me leg cramps, i have really poor eye sight and I'm a A+ BLOOD TYPE
5.I've never broken a single bone in my body, i enjoy watching the needle go in when i get injections and I have weak wrists
6. I rather write to you or drive to you over calling you on the phone.
7. I'm not an only child but i always felt like one. My brothers were + 16 years older
8. My favorite time is right before i sleep when mahan and I talk
9.
Im thinking of trading in my agreement with mahan about my 5 year anniversary ring to get one of these. With their price tag... you'll understand why.
10. my only fear is are not be around to protect and guide alana from all the worlds evils.
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